Saturday, 3 August 2013

Meet The Cast: Alan Theape Answers Your Queries

Today's featured celebrity cast member is simian superstar, Alan Theape. Though our show is vegan-friendly, there are intimations of animal experimentation, with Alan being the obvious subject. Over the next couple of weeks, Alan's often bewildering observations on aspects of the production will be posted on this blog for you to decipher, interpret and enjoy.



  



Loofah
Reginald from Roose writes:

What’s that ever-so-cool detective from London, who used to be in The Wire but now appears to have lost that ‘from the ghetto’ accent, doing in Brain without a Body, Alan?

Alan replies:

Well, Reginald, I have news for you. As the series ended a week or two ago, he begged our production team for a place on The Show, to fill in time before setting off for a well-earned rest in sunnier climes...

Sadly his stipulations included an easy chair at the back of Paradise in the Vault, transport to the venue (no, not on that trolley) and, of course, the real deal breaker for us: to work with a set of professionals...

We could not offer him any of this so Idris has now been replaced by a fibrous fruit, popular in the Far East, for that all important shower scene...provoking the inevitable ‘keep us awake at night’ internet question: is it unsanitary to use a loofah in the shower instead of a bath cloth?

The answer, of course, was clear only if you are not sure where he has been and, thanks to BBC1, we know exactly where Loofah has been. Although he does seem to have many many scrapes (or should that be exfoliates), Loofah always seems to walk away smelling of roses without a hint of dead skin, and the promise of another series....

Our Loofah is sanitary but, just in case, here is the wonderful Guide To Safe Use which we will be working on between now and 13 August, when the whole thing kicks off....

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